Oh Captain! My Captain! … as my tears flow. In Memory of Robin Williams.

O Captain! my Captain! our fearful trip is done,
The ship has weather’d every rack, the prize we sought is won,
The port is near, the bells I hear, the people all exulting,
While follow eyes the steady keel, the vessel grim and daring;
But O heart! heart! heart!
O the bleeding drops of red,
Where on the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

O Captain! my Captain! rise up and hear the bells;
Rise up—for you the flag is flung—for you the bugle trills,
For you bouquets and ribbon’d wreaths—for you the shores a-crowding,
For you they call, the swaying mass, their eager faces turning;
Here Captain! dear father!
This arm beneath your head!
It is some dream that on the deck,
You’ve fallen cold and dead.

My Captain does not answer, his lips are pale and still,
My father does not feel my arm, he has no pulse nor will,
The ship is anchor’d safe and sound, its voyage closed and done,
From fearful trip the victor ship comes in with object won;
Exult O shores, and ring O bells!
But I with mournful tread,
Walk the deck my Captain lies,
Fallen cold and dead.

How profound now these words are.

I felt like a ton of bricks had fallen upon me when the news broke of Robin Williams death.

It doesn’t feel real, I don’t want it to be real. I thought the death of James Gandolfini last year had affected me, my God … Robin Williams has floored me.

I sat in front of the TV for hours and hours to see and hear everything I could, tonight things taped still not seen. I needed a break. I feel like an OD victim so overwhelmed and grief-stricken.

Where James Gandolfini was an exceptional actor and also a devout supporter of our troops, he only came into my world with the onset of The Soprano’s. But Robin, I was a Johnny Carson Tonight Show junkie. I don’t think I missed a show from 16 years-old on unless hospitalized when sick and probably not even then.

On July 25th my right eye went blurred and seeing double, I haven’t posted a thing since the 24th, MRI/MRA later and awaiting results I had to write something to pay homage to a man who brought so much joy, laughter, tears to everyone else’s life. I had to gather my thoughts but so hard to do because it still hasn’t sunk in that Robin is really gone now from this life. It just does not seem like reality, on the other hand beyond way too much reality, more like a nightmare we all want to just wake up from. Because Robin Williams was the life of everybody’s party.

His first appearance on the Tonight Show was hysterical and every appearance after. I had never seen anybody who could just do spot on improv and be that outrageous the way he could.

 

 

When you could make Carson laugh until tears ran down his face you knew this man would be a star, but then I never imagined to what degree or magnitude that he would become.

His comedic genius was only the beginning, the acting was phenomenal whether comedy or drama. The passion of some of his characters would leave you speechless.

The first movie that really caught my eye was Good Morning, Vietnam and saw the perfect intertwine of the two in one role but the movie that would captivate me was Dead Poets Society, thus the intro to this blog.

A particular scene that had a very young Ethan Hawke in-which he finally breaks through that very shy, weary, reluctant to stand before anyone to speak student and brings out the character to not only recite but shines like a neon light doing it.

It had me in tears when he finally opened his eyes now silent with his classmates clapping. I thought then that Robin should have won the academy award for this role of the teacher. So many other scenes throughout this entire film.

Then in Awakenings, the same compassion he had in life came across the screen as well. The character so moving, I couldn’t distinguish who was the doctor or Robin, both one and the same.

Every film, every TV show, every charity telethon, every performance this man gave his all. It poured out of him as natural as a baby dolphin just being born and swims.

Robin Williams was a talent that you will never see again. It’s a once in a lifetime shot. He had it all and that is why I along with millions and millions of his fans sit stunned while grieving to tears and wonder what was going through his mind before his end came. He was so loved.

Such a talented yet torchered soul. He approached comedy with a blazing wit, sadly whatever had entered his mind negatively at that point also came over him so quick he reacted the same.

How I wish for that moment he had stumbled.

We are devastated & heartbroken Robin, all of us. Your family, friends, troops, sick children and fans you touched so deeply.

For now the laughter has gone silent, it has left us as you have left the world but it will be momentarily for it would be a sin and a disregard for all you have done to never laugh again. That’s not what you have wanted for you lived to make us laugh.

I wish we could have helped you as much as you did for us when we needed cheering up when one of your movies came on. Our troubles for that time would leave us. All we can do now is look to Heaven to see you are free.

After all you did for us it is the least we can do for you.

Hoping you find the peace elsewhere you could never seem to totally find here.

We will miss your presence but you will still entertain and make us both laugh and cry with your undying talent.

Thank You for everything, you will be in our hearts remembered forever.

Oh Captain! My Captain!

 

 

 

Golden Globe for Dead Poets Society.

 

 

 

Oscar

 

 

 

Out of all the stars to comment, Michael J. Fox words captured it best.

“Famously kind, ferociously funny, a genius and a gentle soul. What a loss.’

 

Amen and God Speed.

 

 

 

 

Never seen such an outpouring.

 

 

 

To be continued….